I hope I can make it for my birthday celebration!

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I stumbled across this story on KSL and heard what I though was just a funny quote. Sure, I guess he has a point, but taken out of the context of this story, it just sounds hilarious…

Click the play button below to hear the quote, then see this story if you’re interested.

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Wow, this really had me laughing out loud! Maybe because I just got a hair cut from another weirdo on Saturday. I really wish I could find a normal person that I could go to and get a haircut on a regular basis. Imagine captain Jack Sparrow as an old lady with pig tails cutting your hair… yeah, that was my Saturday morning.

Technorati Tags: haircut, barber, funny, practical joke, prank

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OK, Vader, you’re a real jokester… cut it out now!

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I’m not a big fan of puns. But the last two made me smile – maybe because the first 8 were so bad.

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam! … “
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies “Yes, I’m positive.”
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ‘But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him …(Oh, man, this is so bad, it’s good)… A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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I saw this joke online today and I got it right away and thought it was quite humorous:

Q: Why do computer geeks confuse Halloween & Christmas?

A: 31 OCT = 25 DEC

So I rushed off to tell my fellow programmers and they just didn’t get it. I even wrote it down for them. Hmph. A joke is just not funny when you have to explain so I won’t.

Along the same lines I also like the often quoted:

There are only 10 types of people in the world… Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

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I stumbled upon this video this morning. I’m actually surprised I didn’t find it on Connor’s blog first. I’m sure it will be there soon!

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I’ve been highly entertained by Connor’s parking woes. It brings back semi-sweet memories of my time at Salt Lake Community College (SLCC).

Throughout my long career at SLCC I tried to get away with buying a parking pass as much as possible. My first two years I succeeded without getting a ticket. I think this was mainly because my classes where at the South City campus and they were always late at night. Once I started taking all my classes at the Redwood Campus those parking patrol guys got good.

The first time I got a ticket I went the same day and bought a parking pass. I didn’t pay my ticket though. I figured they’d just forget about it. Little did I know that they knew my license plate number. They put a hold on my account and I couldn’t get my grades that year until I paid my ticket.

Well, one year I seemed to be particularly busy with things and I couldn’t seem to make the time to go buy the yearly pass. My mom had just given me her old car. The beauty of this was that the school – or anyone really – didn’t have the license plate under my name.

It only took a few days of parking before I got my first ticket. The next day I had a class on the other side of campus. I still hadn’t had time to go buy a [stupid] parking permit. So as I left my car, I put the ticket back under my windshield wiper hoping that some silly little parking officer boy would see it and say “oh, this car already has a ticket.”

Well, they saw it, but that silly little officer boy was the same one that patrolled the other side of campus just the day before. He left me another ticket and added a comment at the bottom that said, “NICE TRY!”

Well, that just made me laugh. Jokes on you sucka! (That’s Ebonics for “I’m not going to pay my ticket because I can get away with it.”) I accumulated a few more tickets that month. Then I finally registered the car and got some new license plates and a parking permit to go with my new plates.

I never did pay all those tickets. I suppose with a little investigative work they could have tracked me down eventually, but for the amount of money they could have squeezed out of me I doubt it would even be worth it. I’m just a parking fugitive now.

[tags]parking ticket, college, parking[/tags]

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I read this article on SI.com this morning about David Beckham coming to America to play soccer. It seems to be all the buzz right now.

Personally, I could care less. I wouldn’t care if soccer just went away. I find it extremely boring. That’s okay though. My favorite sport is baseball and I realize that there are a lot more people in the world that find baseball boring than there are people that find soccer boring.

But I enjoyed the article mostly because of the last paragraph that bridged the two sports.

In the meantime, may we hope that some other country of the world with a struggling baseball league will decide that the way to make it work is to take Barry Bonds off our hands.

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I guess I just don’t keep up enough. I only scored a 28 here: http://www.cerado.com/web20quiz.htm

Now I supposed after the popularity of this quiz sets in, all Star Wars characters will eventually become web 2.0 sites

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